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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22491853">Douglas Eiffel's Top 10</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_squee/pseuds/fangirl_squee'>fangirl_squee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wolf 359 (Radio)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Pre-Season/Series 01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:41:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22491853</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_squee/pseuds/fangirl_squee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What are the ten things that you most miss about Earth?</p><p>Beer, cigarettes, pizza, sex, whiskey, blackjack, porn, monster trucks, tequila, video on demand.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Doug Eiffel/Hera</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Douglas Eiffel's Top 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is set pre-season/season 1-ish.</p><p>(Unbetaed!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>beer</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiffel stretched his arms above his head, wincing at the stiffness in his back after a long shift of uselessly searching the frequencies of space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hera, you there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Officer Eiffel?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m clocking out,” said Eiffel. “You know, in case Minkowski asks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Noted,” said Hera. “You are currently rostered on again at 0900, although Commander Minkowski would like me to note that you do also need to complete the inventory of all hygiene products prior to that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” said Eiffel, “I’m gonna grab a drink first though.” He paused. “Do you want to come?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… don’t know how to answer that question Officer Eiffel,” said Hera, after a pause. “In a way, I’m already there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel blinked, rubbing the back of his head. “I guess you are. I meant more like… did you want to hang out, off the clock?” When Hera didn’t answer, he added, “You don’t have to, I mean, I’m sure you’ve got a to-do list longer than-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” said Hera, “Well, yes, I do, but… I would like to “hang out” with you, Officer Eiffel. Off the clock.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something fluttered in the pit of Eiffel’s stomach. “Uh. Cool.” He paused. “Officer Minkowski isn’t in the mess right now, is she?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Officer Eiffel,” said Hera, amusement curling through her tone, “Your path is clear.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good to know,” said Eiffel, flicking off the screens as he left the room. “You want to walk there together?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you, I’m already there,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel winced. “Sorry-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But sure, I can travel along with you, if you’d like.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great,” said Eiffel, hoping he could make it there without putting his foot too far in his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Number one thing, when I get back to Earth,” said Eiffel, “is to find a bar and get a beer. Nothing better after a long day of work, and being up here is the longest day of work I’ve ever had.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think we have any beer on the station,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That we do not,” said Eiffel, “Unless I can figure out some way to ferment that seaweed stuff… actually, that’s an idea…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think Commander Minkowski would approve.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She might disapprove of my methods but I’m sure she’d appreciate the results.“ Eiffel paused. “But just in case, let’s just keep this idea to ourselves, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He poured the seaweed quote coffee unquote into one of the reusable thermos cups by the machine, trying not to focus too much on the unsettling gelatinous texture of it. He raised a glass in what he thought was most likely the direction of Hera’s sensors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cheers,” said Eiffel, taking a sip and managing, through sheer stubbornness, to keep it own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How does it compare to an after work beer?” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Very</span>
  </em>
  <span> poorly,” said Eiffel, “negative twenty out of ten, with further points deducted for aftertaste.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it’ll be better after you ferment it,” said Hera sympathetically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It certainly couldn’t be any worse,” said Eiffel.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>cigarettes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiffel woke to Minkowski banging on his door. They’d only been in space a month and he was already pretty used to the sound, which usually preceded a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> irate Minkowski telling him that he hadn’t followed regulation enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Officer Eiffel!” yelled Minkowski.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel considered, very seriously, pretending to be asleep. Maybe he was a heavy sleeper, they’d only known each other for a little while. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>be a heavy sleeper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The banging continued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well that ruined that plan. No one was </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> much of a heavy sleeper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel sighed, dragging himself out of bed. “Yes, Commander?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door slid open to reveal Minkowski, just as angry as Eiffel had expected. He braced himself for the onslaught to come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What,” said Minkowski, “are these?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She held up a small pack of cigarettes. Eiffel tried to adopt a casual air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, they look like Marlboro Lights to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And are they </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> Marlboro Lights?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... No?” tried Eiffel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” said Minkowski, “Because on top of being against regulation and the Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual, it would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely</span>
  </em>
  <span> ill-advised for anyone to smoke in this space station.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minkowski’s eyebrows shot up. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Officer Eiffel we are in an </span>
  <em>
    <span>enclosed space</span>
  </em>
  <span> with </span>
  <em>
    <span>many, many flammable chemicals and gases</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That’s why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, uh, I guess it’s good I don’t smoke?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minkowski fixed him with a look that said she thought he was full of shit but was prevented from saying so by her beloved Manual, like the time she’d almost caught him napping in the communications room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” said Minkowski. “I’m going to throw these away, so they won’t cause any danger.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel opened his mouth, then shut it again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you have something to add, Officer Eiffel?” said Minkowski.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” said Eiffel quickly, “Nothing. Not a thing. Absolutely zero to add to that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minkowski hummed, marching away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel shut his door, letting out a long breath. At least he still had the packet he’d hidden in the communication room, and the one in the loading bay. He’d just ration the out very carefully. He’d be fine.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>pizza</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time Eiffel moved away from his family, he’d lived a very small apartment. Well, he’d rented a room in someone else’s apartment. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Well</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it was actually more like a large closet. There was just enough room to between the bed and the wall to stand up (luckily the door opened outwards).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In retrospect it was kind of a shitty deal, but at the time it had felt like a miracle. No parents reminding him of how disappointing he was being, no rules on what he could or couldn’t do, no restrictions on who he could and couldn’t see, it was all new and it was all amazing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After he paid his first lot of rent he celebrated by using the last of his money to get pizza from the place across from his apartment. It was, by any sense of measurement, pretty disgusting pizza. His housemates wouldn’t even steal it out of the fridge, which turned out to be a weird sort of bonus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Eiffel thought of pizza, when he was eight light years away and </span>
  <em>
    <span>missed</span>
  </em>
  <span> pizza, he thought of that pizza. Half-cold and overly greasy and </span>
  <em>
    <span>all his</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>sex</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hera saw everything. It was something that the humans on board the Hephaestus didn’t seem to have fully grasped just yet. They always asked if she was there before an order or a question, as though she had somewhere else to go (as if she </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>go anywhere else).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could even, for example, see what certain communications officers got up to when they turned off their lights and locked their doors. Hera, unlike a light switch, could not be so easily turned off. She wasn’t always happy with that fact, but sometimes the results could be </span>
  <em>
    <span>fascinating</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Up in the bridge, an unchecked power surge shut off the lights.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hera?” said Minkowski, her hands hovering above the keyboard, mid-report.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lights flickered back on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry Commander, I was monitoring something and it must have ... distracted me.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>whiskey</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There was something about listening to several hours of space static that really put a man in his feelings. Normally, on Earth, this would have been the kind of thing that made Eiffel reach for a strong drink, but as the experiments to ferment the seaweed coffee into something better and or hallucinatory-in-a-fun-way were still in the trial stages, he settled for water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He changed the frequency, static. He tried the next one, static. He tried the next one, static. Nothing and noone but static, static, static. His throat ached.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Officer Eiffel?” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah Hera?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you... okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Peachy,” said Eiffel, “why do you ask?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera paused, awkwardness coming through her speakers. “You’re… you’re crying, Officer Eiffel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel wiped at his face. “Yeah, must be… dusty in here. Or something. Setting off my allergies.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have allergies,” said Hera. She paused. “Did you want me to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you said you were everywhere?” said Eiffel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can… focus my attention elsewhere,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-” Eiffel wiped his face again. “God, no. It’ll be even worse without you around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What can I do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” said Eiffel, “talk to me about something, anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I could tell you about the star?” offered Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” said Eiffel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anything was better than endless, endless static.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s beautiful out there Officer Eiffel,” said Hera, ”I wish you could see it from where I do…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel let Hera’s voice take him away, away from the static and into the stars, with her.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>blackjack</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Checkmate,” said Minkowski, “again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel groaned. “You’re cheating somehow, you’ve gotta be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If that helps you sleep at night, then believe what you have to believe,” said Minkowski.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could help you, if you like,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> be cheating,” said Minkowski.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t we play something I’m actually good at?” said Eiffel, “Like, any card game? Hide and seek? Charades? Anything but chess!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Officer Eiffel,” said Minkowski, grinning, “We just don’t have any other game.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel sighed, long-suffering. “Fine, set it up again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Prepare to lose!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, believe me,” said Eiffel, “I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> prepared.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>porn</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Officer Eiffel?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel shrieked, covering himself. “Hera! I’m in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>shower</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can see that,” said Hera, amused, “Commander Minkowski asked me to remind you that you have a meeting with her in ten minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” said Eiffel, “Jeez, can’t a guy get a little privacy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hera</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Officer Eiffel what part of </span>
  <em>
    <span>I am an all seeing always awake space station</span>
  </em>
  <span> are you not getting?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but I didn’t think that meant… private stuff.” Eiffel’s eyes widened. “Wait, does that mean you’ve seen me… uh…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hera</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” said Eiffel. “You could have said something!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, it’s not like it would have stopped you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel spluttered. “I could have!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could have!” Eiffel repeated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you could have Officer Eiffel,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” said Eiffel. He paused. “Wait, I thought you said you could focus your attention away from certain places?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, when I feel like it, and it doesn’t go against any of my core directives,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So then you </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to watch me… y’know,” said Eiffel, making what Minkowski would probably classify as an </span>
  <em>
    <span>obscene gesture</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well,” said Hera. “It’s- I’m supposed to monitor station personnel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There is no </span>
  <em>
    <span>way</span>
  </em>
  <span> one of your directives is to watch crewmembers masterbate,” said Eiffel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera was silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew it!” said Eiffel. “You’re just as bad as me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suppose I am,” said Hera. She paused. “Your meeting with Commander Minkowski is now in five minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel swore, rushing to dry himself enough to get back into his uniform.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until much later that he realised that Hera agreeing with him probably meant something.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>monster trucks</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you could go anywhere in the wo- in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>universe </span>
  </em>
  <span>right now, where would you go?” said Eiffel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera hummed. “The rings of Saturn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel made a frustrated sound. “No, I meant, like… an actual place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Saturn is a place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I meant a place it would be possible to visit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It would be possible to visit,” said hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, for you, I meant, like…” Eiffel waved his hands, gesturing between himself and up towards Hera’s camera on the wall. “If </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>could go somewhere, where would you want to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” said Hera. She paused. “If I wasn’t a space station, you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you were however you want to be,” said Eiffel, “space station, robot body, transformer, whatever. Where would you want to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera thought for a long moment (well, long for her. Barely a few seconds). “The ocean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” said Eiffel. “Which one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Any,” said Hera, “All of them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Done,” said Eiffel, “when we get back, we’ll go there first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First?” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” said Eiffel, grinning, “I have a whole list of places I’ll take you, baby. Art galleries, and every ocean, and pizza places, and monster truck rallies-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Monster trucks?” said Hera, “Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you’ll love it,” said Eiffel, “it is, without a doubt, top five most awesome date locations.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the background, her processors caught on the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>date</span>
  </em>
  <span>, replaying the audio on a loop.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tequila</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Eiffel’s dating history was … patchy. He tended to be better at casual hookups rather than anything serious enough to approach meeting-the-friends-and-parents territory. This meant that most, if not all, of what could be considered previous relationships had involved some form of alcohol. It helped, even if he’d been dating the person at the time, but it especially helped with first dates.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> could have used some of that right now, although Minkowski probably wouldn’t have let him have it anyway. Not while he was in the medbay. His head felt a little like he’d been drinking anyway. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. His thoughts had slowed right down, focussing on what was right in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The world kept swimming in out out of focus. When he’d closed his eyes Minkowski had been arguing with Hilbert, but when he opened them again he was alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hera?” His voice sounded hoarse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here, Officer Eiffel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel smiled at the ceiling. “Yeah, you’re always here. It’s nice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> nice.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Officer Eiffel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera sounded amused. That was good. It was good that he could do that for her. He couldn’t really do much strapped into a medbay bed, but it felt good to do that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hera can I ask you something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this nice for you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this nice for you? When we talk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All his thoughts felt… fuzzy. It was hard to put them into words properly, and his throat hurt saying them out loud. Hera was good at understanding what he meant though. Hera would get it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” said Hera, still sounding on the edge of laughter, “this is nice for me too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew you’d get it!” said Eiffel, triumphant. “You know, we should go out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... out where?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel laughed, and then winced at the way it pulled at his chest. “Out on a date. I mean, I know there aren’t a lot of great date night options out here, but we could kick Hilbert out of the observation deck or something, look at the stars. Talk. I like talking to you. We could do that on a date.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera was silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hera?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I - Officer Eiffel, Doctor Hilbert has you on some pretty strong medication right now. I’m not sure you understand what you’re saying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not because of the medication,” said Eiffel, frowning, “I think about asking you that all the time. Sometimes I try to but it gets… messed up. I’m not very good at this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t sound amused any more. He’d probably messed it up again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he said, fiddling with the edge of the blanket, “Forget I said it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you should ask me again,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” said Eiffel, “Hera will you -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not now,” said Hera, “when you’re… more yourself. Think of it as an incentive to get better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel considered this for a moment. He did </span>
  <em>
    <span>sort </span>
  </em>
  <span>of feel like he was in a dream, so maybe Hera had a point. She was so smart like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” said Eiffel, “I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay Officer Eiffel.” The amused edge was back in Hera’s voice. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel like I’m already asleep,” said Eiffel, but he closed his eyes anyway.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>video on demand</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’m awake now,” said Eiffel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can see that,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m awake now and off medication and I’m not dying,” said Eiffel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Officer Eiffel,” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, I was wondering, if, uh, if you wanted to, uh,” Eiffel swallowed, forcing the words out before he lost his nerve. “If you’d want to go out some time, on a date.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A- are you sure about this Officer Eiffel?” said Hera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God yes,” said Eiffel, the words coming out of him in a rush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know that I’ll be a very good date.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hera if you’re there, it’ll be the </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect </span>
  </em>
  <span>date,” said Eiffel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- that’s very kind of you to say,” said Hera. She paused. “What exactly are we going to do on this date?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel blinked. “I, uh. I hadn’t actually got that far yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera laughed. “What do humans normally do for their first dates?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eiffel made a face. “Go to the movies, I guess, but there is no way I’m making you watch Home Alone 2 again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate it,” said Hera. She paused. “I think I would like going to the movies. I’ve never seen any, besides Home Alone 2.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, allow me to be your very own video-on-demand service,” said Eiffel, “you tell me what sort of thing you want to imagine watching and I’ll describe the movie to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hera hummed. “Do you know any that have happy endings?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a lot of them,” said Eiffel, “Let me think, I’ll find one you’ll like.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come say hi: mariusperkins on most places</p></blockquote></div></div>
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